I’m not deluded, I know you’ve been gone for a very long time now, But I’ve been holding onto memories and moments, I kept every picture and everything you gave me, I was never over you or what had happened, I never dealt with it, just pushed it deep inside so I could try and survive.
but I had an urge to find out where you were in life now, so I looked.
you changed so much and you are not the same person, not the person you showed to me anyway, and I think that’s made letting go so much easier, I wasn’t crazy you did completely flip around on me and almost overnight became someone I didn’t know. Maybe you were just hiding the truth from me all that time or the people who came into your life rubbed off on you.
it doesn’t really matter which part is real and which part is fake, because you’re gone.
and I’m ready to let go, getting rid of everything and just accepting that whatever was, is past and no longer matters, I need new memories and moments to hold onto, so I’ll go make those, and drop this heavy weight that I’ve let debilitate me for so many years now.
I loved you,
goodbye.
3 comments
I’m feeling very emotional today, and this made me cry.
I can totally relate to this! I did and felt the same after my 10-year relationship ended 9 years ago. I got through the breakup by supressing the many feelings I had in order to survive. Today, I’m in EMDR therapy still working through some of those supressed anger, depression, etc feelings.
We used to talk a lot. You told me so much about everything. And nothing made me happier than seeing this post.