Struggling

Pain is normal  and those of us experiencing chronic pain on a never ending basis know how hard it is to make friends, keep friends. Im lonely, and made a friendship, which turned out to nothing but lies. It took the edge off and gave me a chance to breathe. Now more lies has even shattered the way i would ignore everything just because I was so desperate for company and the distraction.now it’s over i’m finding the pain is worse, my whole body has tightened up, I grit my teeth so hard I break them. I want to give up on this shit life but have people who want me around, how do i get the courage to end this nightmare journey..it’s 17 years of pain, and other things are going wrong, I need out, but debate myself daily on how hurt other people would be, at the same time think of ways how to vanish and end it, no longer can i even think straight..had to just put type down or explode…for all of us struggling..I wish you well, good luck and Im sorry you too are living lives like ours