Why continue?

Rainwatch, I just read all your posts. We are so much alike its uncanny. I literally could have written every one of them myself for the exception of the pot reference. I live in the US, but my heritage is Irish, half my family lives in Dublin. I surmise that I am about 10 years older than you, and my feelings that life has passed me by are extreme. I have not traveled down any of the roads I would want to be on and I almost feel like it’s too late to start. Something you mentioned that also struck a chord was your imagination. I am extremely creative having grown up an only child and I feel my Walter Mitty-like mentality makes every situation worse. I can overthink anything and create huge hurdles in my mind. It seems I’m no more living a life than the man on the moon right now, rather living my life through movies and television. Binge drinking has ruined much of my life, but having quit drinking altogether 3 months ago I thought I would be feeling better now, but I actually feel worse because everything wasn’t magically fixed. I’m still me, sober, but still miserable. Your fear of letting down family members is something huge that I’ve been holding onto for a while but I’ve come to the realization that even my family only cares about themselves. Sure they would be sad, but where’s my fucking support if they do give a shit?