Well, the way I lost my virginity was questionable when I was 26 someone who introduced me to crack and a little bit of cocaine hooked me up with women yes my sins one of many I paid for sex not proud of it but I obviously wanted and needed to get laid at some point I don’t think I was really good but but the blowjobs were nice from them but being so smart and yet so stupid I posted on Facebook which sometimes I do things like that but which one those “who does that” “he does that” the whole crowd psycho social bullshit which we all do it which is a good thing and a bad thing it is more fun to be mean than nice.

So if want my advice don’t let the whole virgin insecurity go to your head type of deal find a girl or women who truly loves you for who you are it won’t be easy I can’t even ask girls out sure I can talk to girls just I don’t even try to get a girl probably too shy to even ask a girl out or afraid of not being good enough for girls I am not interested in going out with guys the funny thing is when I was first high of weed yeah I did go through that sexual confusion thought I was bi homo no offense to anyone here safe places and all that crap is something we need to get out of sometimes which is one of the reasons why I started going to the bar close by and plus since after the second day of being sober off weed I was agitated not like the day after I was calm and relaxed I knew alcohol could stabilize that agitation and plus it got me out of my shell.

I probably don’t deserve SSDI and yes I know I am supposed to work for a living and not really rely on the State and the taxworkers and taxpayers money but I try to give it back and not spend too much compulsively the OCD thing or as I call OC that is probably where my addicted personality comes from.