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Pathetic and Tired

by sansfranzdeput

All of me is very pathetic: I am not overweight, but am by no means strong, nor do I possess any significant measure of success or unique strength in any certain area. I work, eat- though sometimes I wish that I didn’t-, sleep, and spend the rest of the time just being lonely and writing about people that I see. It’s embarrassingly lame.

I am tired too: I don’t have anyone to just rest with. I watch porn because I’m so fracking lonely; I cry because it’s pathetic; then I pretend it didn’t happen, almost never really confronting it as an issue. I lie about it, ignore it, and dream that I am actually some human battery being used for a machine-run matrix or some other complicated bullshite.

 

I hate the wind and I despise its gale;

I hate when it strikes the top mast and sail.

I’d much prefer to climb the stairs to heaven’s gate

Than stay on earth, left to men, and man’s fate.

 

But the ship steers away; it’s breaking off due south,

Bound for a bitter land; heading for trade of mouth.

In this light, I cannot see; under the sun, I am blind.

I hope, I pray, I dream, that in this land, you are what I find.

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5 comments

PatheticMale 11/29/2018 - 8:58 am

Very relatable (hence my name). Also I am addicted to weed.

sansfranzdeput 11/29/2018 - 2:53 pm

I can relate to that name. What made you choose it? Just you in general, or specific events/feelings?Also, addiction is always hard, and makes you reliant on things that won’t help in the end, but as far as addiction goes, weed isn’t that bad man. I mean, it’s not black tar heroin or LSD; heck, it’s not Opioids either.

PatheticMale 11/30/2018 - 12:01 pm

LSD is completely non addictive and it has some benefits too, It could open up your mind and shit. I definitely wouldnt put it in a same group as black tar heroin. It is arguably even safer drug then weed.

My name is just very accurate description of my being. I like being minimalistic. A whole book probably wouldnt describe me better than these 2 simple words.

SuicidalThoughtsButRefuseToKillMyself 11/29/2018 - 7:10 pm

I only tried alcohol, crack, lil bit of cocaine, weed, cigarettes then traded in cigs for vaping I don’t care for heroin and opioids that is what fucked up my older brother the whole two brothers practical Cain and Abel not as bad but close enough to it.

I can relate too I think we all can I agree weed isn’t that but the first high and the euphoria fucking phenomenonal absolute pure bliss to the highest form of peace of mind. I agree the greens it is a medicine the only thing I didn’t like about it was the funny and scary sexual confusion haha and the paranoia, psychosis, and schizophrenia. The weed effect had every other positive and neutral and negative had the God experience out of body experience and had so many other experiences the simulation experience and a bunch of others though. But you can’t OD but everyone is different there are some risks to it some have gone blind supposedly which makes you wonder what kind of weed were you smoking and how much? I know the short term memory effects and what not happy, hungry, sleepy.

But remember all drugs are good but also bad depending on the dosage and the situation be safe and sober.
But I am not going to convince you since I already started my alcohol due to my own reason good news is I am getting out of my head and shell at the bars I am at that point in my life waiting for the calm before the storm and Vice versa.

PatheticMale 11/30/2018 - 12:02 pm

I have tried a lot of drugs out of curiosity but strangely I never abused anything except weed.

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