What the fuck am I supposed to say to people? I don’t like any of my options. There I go again, like some spoiled child. “This food doesn’t taste right”, “That isn’t fair!” I stamp my foot and demand my way, but what do I want?! Nuts. Not literally nuts, more like a filler word meaning who’s to say what I want? I mean, there’s an abstract. I want control. I want input. I want to be able to be my ideal self, but fuck that’s a tall order.
I’m just feeling morbid again. Down again. I’ve been getting sick lately, 4 times in the last 3 months. Stress, that’s what it is. But I can’t give up my fucking life. I’m good at my stupid career, but my home life is suffering. It’s like I have these tools, and they do what they’re supposed to, but other people have tools that I lack.
I just wish I had ended it sooner, but that’s a wish that can’t come true.