It’s hard to accept and I think most people like to believe suicide is NEVER a good answer or to repeat a cliché “suicide is a short term solution to a long term problem.” But if we’re really honest we gotta admit there are some times, some very rare situations where suicide truely is the best solution.
Case in point… this guy… went out like a boss. https://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-fagan/2013/08/a-60-year-old-man-killed-himself-today-and-left-this-incredibly-detailed-website-as-his-suicide-note/
I only just recently found that article from 2013, and 6 years is ancient history on the internet. Sadly both the original site and the archived sites are now gone. Still, in reading that article I found myself thinking I could find no flaw in his reasoning, that for him, suicide truly was the best answer.
What do you think?
10 comments
Suicide is always a good answer for people who aren’t good at taking tests on life. Just let the silly human mind rest.
Someone thankfully managed to archive his entire website. It’s an interesting read. The link to his website is below:
http://martin-manley.eprci.com/
There’s merit to the cliche of suicide being a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There are ways around many issues. Suicide isn’t always the best, or smartest solution, but that is a subjective decision so my believing there’s merit is a moot point. It’s all up to the individual, and it comes down to each of us being in one camp or the other – for, or against. While I believe suicide isn’t always the ONLY solution, I respect anyone’s decision to choose it. It’s their life, not mine. What do I know?
A lot of time, unfortunately, it is the only solution.
People make this point all the time on SP. I’m a little bored with it. Most people here are suicidal. We don’t need convincing that suicide feels alluring when life hurts.
What I’ve found is that most people have probably been suicidal at one time or another. For most people it passes. For some of us, it’s more long-term. But don’t write off so-called “normal” people.
Even people who appear successful can struggle way more than you might guess.
I think a major problem is that recent generations have somehow been convinced that life is supposed to be pure bliss 24/7, and if it isn’t, something is seriously wrong with them. That is not the case. I think people had a much closer relationship to death and suffering in the past. So many kids died back then from ailments we can now treat. Death was a constant companion.
You can also see it in the way many religions talk about life: Not exactly as a piece of cake.
Anyway, this view of life seems to be what Jordan Peterson is trying to revive. It’s more realistic. It acknowledges the universality of suffering.
I’m sorry if I came off grumpy. Please don’t take it personally.
Hey Martin thanks for that link! I paid 400 bucks for my nephew and his girlfriend to get front row seats to Peterson. I think its the same old success BS with the best lobsters clawing to the top and worst lobsters remaining on the bottom etc.
I think the real problem with modern life is how were constantly bombarded with messages saying your ugly, stupid, boring, poor, old, in danger/perma-victem, etc. People in 3rd world countries living in shit conditions don’t kill themselves but we do. Our priorities are screwed, we’re rabid materialist consumers, and I think one your fully exposed to the porn-cheeseburger-social media onslaught of bazillion dollar advertising agencies you cant escape.
Wow, good uncle right there. I partly agree with you. I find that he mixes sometimes deep insights with rather tenuous reasoning. It’s like we always end up back in the gulag…
The difference between so-called First and Third world suicide rates is interesting. I believe they also plummet during wars.
Probably a lot has been lost with the insane pace of modern life and development. I remember checking the Wikipedia entry for 10-11,000 B.C. I believe the only thing we know was invented in that period was the wheel. Lol. A thousand years. The wheel. I mean, great invention, but think of the pace now! Evolution probably hasn’t caught up. We’re almost hunter-gatherers living in a high-tech world where we’ve changed the geosphere to the extent that scientists are calling our era the anthropocene.
But you can still block out those developments to some extent if you limit your internet browsing. I don’t think it’s particularly healthy with constant updates on a) your friend’s success, b) horrible events happening around the world, and c) technological, societal, and economic developments to make your head spin. Maybe selective ignorance IS bliss.
[Edit: I may be wrong about the wheel. Anyway, seems not a whole lot happened.]
Can I accept it or can I internalize it?
I’ve already accepted that some people are going to commit suicide. I’ll never have the power to tell them absolutely not to. I can slow people down, and I can talk to them. It’s just not in my control what they do when they are alone.
Taking a different approach: there are many horrible things people do. They’re going to do them and some of them are going to either get away with it or not get caught until they’ve done a substantial amount of damage. My personal soapbox is adultery, since I wouldn’t be depressed or hurt as bad if my ex wife had a different perspective on the hurt she would cause by soiling our marriage bed. In this modern world, many people are totally fine with sleeping around, emotional infidelity and the whole thing. I can accept that is the world that I live in. It doesn’t make me someone who can hurt people like that.
Which is the point I’m at regarding suicide. Sure, there are times I am very tempted. Do you think I’m never tempted to do horrible things? I live in a city where I have to drive, and I hate it. Sometimes I think about jumping the center median and plowing head on into the most horrible sports car I can see. That’s a fantasy, not something that would work out well for anyone at all. It just feels emotionally satisfying. That’s the illusion. There’s an illusion that suicide is this simple solution, but it’s dang hard to plan and carry out successfully. I’m serious about that too, I can understand advanced brain chemistry and computer programming and suicide is harder and worse than that.
So I can accept suicide, even fantasize about it. As of yet, I’m too in love with my family, too sensitive, and in far too little pain to carry it out. There is a suicide equation so simple I could explain it to a child: Reasons to die – reasons to live = relative suicidality. If it makes a negative number there’s no dang way to commit suicide and be rational. The moment it slips and that person is already depressed, they’re just counting down time until they do something about it.
That’s when it’s okay, and when I’m less harsh with those that want to go. That’s my morality, if the math checks I get less angry. It still doesn’t make suicide a true answer.
Camus said “Suicide is a confession that we cannot cope with being alive” (paraphrase.) Anyone can accept a confession. Is it true? That’s a higher standard.