Is it worthwhile continuing life when you are 29 years old, live with pain, rejected from social circles because of your looks, and stuck with your elderly parents, living day to day in a country with no job prospects, and no future to get better. I am simply alive for the sake of my parents, but they might need to house me for my whole life. My anxiety attacks makes it hard to keep jobs too; so what is this life worth? Please tell me what do do. Would you live under this extreme circumstances? Considering you are also viral on YouTube for saying “hi there” to someone, and now being ridiculed and mocked by your whole country. I haven’t seen the video, but people told me about it. Even if I was sharp as a whip, my whole life is wrecked; I live in the shadow of a self that died decades ago. Why me, I ask as nauseum hence my pitiful misfortunes. I wish I never was born.
The one friend I wanted to beat ended up giving me a middle finger figuratively speaking. He really fulfilled his dreams and summoned revenge. A boy that was so suicidal and envied me once, is now so much higher in life. I can’t believe I lost to this guy. And he knows it…
what exactly is this life still worth? The blacks are burning down farms again. We have no power. I am still doing an internship to hopefully get this job; alas, it’s too difficult and I am unable to work in any other division as no other jobs exists for juniors. Engineers with my advanced speciality don’t get work here. So I’m busted either way.
on top of this, I have no social life and stroll in the house of my elderly parents daily: too chicken to off myself because I don’t want to cause them pain. Now I have the inescapable acquaintances I guess you could call “friends” of my parents, visiting and looking for the “updates” to my life, as if they are trying to ridicule my for being still in home. I loathe this existence.
ladies and gentleman, it can’t be normal to struggle to this extreme.
My house of cards fell apart long ago – I need out…
5 comments
Yes! a horrible knot of anger to feel….out, behind, apart, unknown, incapable. Lost but too afraid to end it! And the only people around you have already lived, dying, or better off.
yes sir! know the feeling!
It’s funny, ’cause when I read your post, I think “Ahh, it could work out, he’s an engineer, he should change his attitude and be more hopeful and resourceful. Maybe move abroad if there’s no work where he’s living.”
Then I remember why I came here. To lament the fact that I daren’t off myself. It would solve all my problems at once.
I can relate. I’m 23 and I moved back in with my parents, and I also have no social life. In my case, I suppose I don’t want a social life. But my mom’s friends are similar to your parents’ friends because they want to ridicule me for my lack of social life as well.
You said, “please tell me what to do”, so I’ll offer my advice.
Focus on the career aspect first. Then you’ll have some rights in your parents’ house. That’ll help.
Is normal a comforting thought? It isn’t normal to think for oneself, and not accept the common narrative. The common narrative says that we should be grateful to be able to work period, that the economy owes us nothing and job creators are the proverbial santa clauses bringing us the gift of jobs and whatever scraps of money they feel those jobs are worth.
What is life worth? More than anyone can pay. Time is worth more than money, and when people reach a certain level of wealth time is all they buy, because time is worth more than power, more than fame and much much more than money.
Your inner worth though only you can decide. Depression screws up the worth equation by calling everything worthless. If everything were truly worthless we wouldn’t expend energy though, the entire economy of being alive would cease to be. We breath, digest food and so on to gain energy to trade for things of worth.
Maybe you can find work that isn’t so unsteady. It’s possible to come to peace with the situation and improve. Being upset about it is a circular cycle that continues forever and accomplishes nothing.
My anti anxiety mantra:
“When you have done the best that you can, no one can reasonably expect more. That is success, making the best choices with the available information.”
I’m 24, I intended to commit self murder at 18. I will never hold a job or have any assets of value. But with being so suicidal none of that is important to me, the only thing that matters is that I succeed in committing suicide and do not find myself alive the following morning. All I’ve known in my life is abuse.