I am just lazy and there is nothing more to it. I am not like you guys… I bet most of you try your hardest in life and feel like shit regardless… But I am not like that. I literally put 0 efford into this life … How could I even expect having some self esteem? I am so naive. Self esteem is a reward for doing something hard and meaningful. But I dont do anything besides smoking weed and playing video games in my moms house like every stereotypical loser. Its no wonder I feel like shit… Its no wonder I am scared of girls… I deserve it all. I could have everything I want but I just dont want to change. I always tell here about how I need to change but I never do it. Its always ‘tomorow’ I will do it. I dont want to read, I dont want to learn, I dont want to work out. I just want to get high and waste my time because it is easy. I dont deserve your coments or empathy, I dont deserve love… Please give it to someone else.
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Also I got back to my energy drink addiction coz why the fk not. I just dont care. I deserve to feel like shit.
There are reasons why we are as we are. The purpose of shame is to produce change. If it doesn’t have that effect then you’re inflicting completely pointless suffering on yourself. Maybe that’s what you want to do, and if so there will be reasons for that too.
Perhaps in future your self-loathing grows so great that you thrash yourself into shape (unlikely.) Or circumstances change and you are forced to bend to a new reality (possible,) Or you’re able to put your issues aside long enough to reassess your deepest motivations and find some compromise that you can bind yourself to moving forward (?)
It’s the weed doing that to you. It suppresses certain neurotransmitters that would normally cause you to care about your life and to be motivated. There’s a recent article about, you can find it through Google.
You’re headed for a brick wall at 60 mph my friend. What happens to you if your mom suddenly passes away? Unless you’re born into wealth all of us have to work to survive. If you fail to plan you plan to fail.
We’d all love to just stay in our own comfort zone and block the world out but like I said only the rich get that privilege. If you do nothing to generate an income for your future, you’ll end up homeless.
I’d recommend not to smoke weed at all or leave it to once a week at the most until you wean yourself off it. Then you’ll be able to think clearly again and be interested in bettering your life.
You’re not alone though, I think it’s human nature to not want to do things but we do them because we have no choice. I hate working for other people (I like being self-employed), but I’ve done it because there was no other option at the time.
I’m working on becoming financially self-sufficient so that I never have to go back to the rat race and I’ll have the freedom to do whatever I want. I’m not there yet but that’s my long term goal.
^^^ I have to agree with the person above, and not only because there is science out stating it as well. I’ve been smoking weed on a daily basis for 11 years and only recently did I start cutting back and it’s completely changed my mindset. I used to spend all of my free time in bed, eating junk food, feeling overwhelmingly unmotivated and telling myself “tomorrow I will change.” Only to wake up, pack another bowl, and start my day feeling like garbage. These past few weeks I’ve woken up feeling clear headed, looking forward to work, and feeling more creative and inspired to be productive. There’s a huge trend right now pushing marijuana to be the cure of everything you can think of, but there’s a whole lot of us out there who are far better off without it and don’t realize it at all. I hope you find the strength to put it down and get control of your life soon. I promise you are capable of amazing things, you just have to push yourself a little!
I guess I’m lazy. I already gave up on life though. I was supposed to have committed on August 1, 2012. Everything that happens around me or anywhere has no affect on me because I think it’s just man-made bull-sh*t by plenty of insignificant figures..whatever I “am” or “may be” will not be affectative because I’ve already chosen my path and am taking my one way ticket out. Until then it’s just a meaningless waste of time..