If you think a 5 minute phone call to an 800 number can save your life, or if some stupid song by a pop band can fix your miserable existence, or a teen melodrama on Netflix or a damn arm band will make you accept 50+ more years of this torture, then by all means donate all your money to one of the many “suicide awareness” groups. They’ll be more than happy to take your money.
If I have one message to give the world, it would be that there’s no fix for suicide. The act of organisms willfully ending their own lives, through starvation or through shotguns, has existed since the beginning of life and that’s never going to change. We’re all thrown into this sh-t show without our consent, and face facts, some of us aren’t ok with that.
Like any suicidal mess, I wake up, grab my phone and google suicide. Looking for some clever new method, looking for commiseration with those who did the deed in the night, or maybe just looking for the morbid thrill and admiration of those who did what I wish I had the guts to do.
And my news feed is cluttered with all these dipsh-ts organizing fundraisers, marches and ice cream socials under the pretense of preventing suicide. These spectacles are just like funerals: for the benefit of the living, not the dead or dying. These spectacles make normies feel good about themselves because they can say they did their part to fix suicide.
Just like the city of San Francisco is putting up a $76 million guard rail on the Golden Gate Bridge because yeah that’ll fix suicide. Right. At best, all that will do is make suicide move to the bay bridge down the street, but hey, out of sight, out of mind.
If I see one more billboard saying “there is hope call bla-bla-blah” I might just climb up there and hang myself right in front of the sign. I wonder how much it costs to rent a billboard for a month anyway. I hope that cost includes cleaning up a corpse.
12 comments
I’m curious, what do you think we should do for suicide awareness instead? I like the way you write by the way
Thanks, it comes straight from my diseased heart. I guess what I’m saying is that nothing can be done. The best thing we can do as a society is to stop being sh-tty toward each other but that’s never going to happen. So to me it feels like the whole “suicide awareness” and “suicide prevention” movements are like when Miss America say she wants world peace. Next.
I think you were right when you said suicide awareness is for the benefit of the living. Cancer awareness is there to make people without cancer more aware of it, as those with cancer damn well know all about it. Maybe suicide awareness doesnt help, but I also think the concept of it is evidence that some people out there care enough to WANT to help. and yeah, there are those who just want to make money off of it, but that isnt everyone. I dont know. I find it comforting that someone out there wants to help. but maybe that’s just me.
Cool post, keep posting
I feel that it takes someone whose “been there done that” to really help. Although I read posts on here where people “got better”. My friend and I say I’m broken and it’s like I was explaining to my husband yesterday. I have a broken wire in my brain that can’t be reached therefor never really fixed. It’s like that tv you hit to make it temporarily work for a little while just to get up and do it again. Although that’s not really a problem anymore but that’s not the point. I like to enjoy my happy times when I can and make others happy too. Even if it is only temporarily at least they won’t forget what smiling feels like.
I think we should develop a set of goggles and earphones that would simulate depression and being suicidal. That might be a start to increasing understanding. Yet… what doesn’t satisfy you is not high enough on my radar. It’s a matter of my depression limiting my energy, and having to budget that energy where I need it.
If people wanted to help me they’d forget this whole understanding me shit, and work on the whole making my healthcare cost less than my mortgage and food. My medication alone is nearly 700 a month, we won’t get into the cost of therapy, the doctor’s time or the people I can call in crisis.
Ah for empathy, but ah for a better world. Sometimes it appears that depression is just wanting better than we get… People are fundamentally disappointing, infuriating and irritating. They’re also interesting, dang them.
I like your idea of the goggles and headphones but everyone is different. It’s like when you go to the doctor and they ask how bad it hurts 1 out of 10. You and someone else can have the exact same problem but to you it might be a 7 and the other person a 4 although the amount of pain can actually be the same.
I bet most of these suicide awareness people have never really felt miserable for a long time and suicidal.
Otherwise they would know that none of this works.
Suicide prevention, of the “all of the above” kind has always worried me and still does. Say SF really does put $76 million into a guard rail and as result stops the 20 person per year exodus there. That will in no way make the lives of the 20 people any better . I was on a site that said about 1600 bodies had been recovered in the last 75 years, so yeah about 20 a year. Of course the issue is probably not suicide prevention itself but rather suicide prevention on thier bridge, seeing as how $76 million could fund over 630 thousand hours of therapy and probably stop far far many more suicides.
Suicide awareness seems to be prevention’s less tangible cousin. Like trying to tell the ‘cides they can get help. Well yes you can have all the help you can afford. How much is that?
Another prong I notice in the awareness world is trying to get normies to catch on to your risk factors and encourage you to get help. Again, how much can you afford?
Also I get the notion when I hear about suicide awareness or prevention that suicide itself is a bad thing and fully , completely, utterly, and always treatable. First the bad thing part. That depends on so many variables I don’t even know where to start. The fully, completely, utterly, and always treatable notion gets me every time. I had to try eight different professionals before finding someone I could form the indispensable to success connection with and actually start moving away from offing myself.
My skepticism of prevention and awareness is as strong as ever. As to treatment, that depends on finding and then funding the right person. Awareness and prevention programs seem to miss the heart of the matter.
Yeah I’ve called once thinking it’d actually help but…nope I felt even more motivated to blow my brains out during and after the call. Such helpless shit. I felt like I was talking to a wall, only replies I got were “aha”, “yeah”, “ok”, “I see”, “maybe that’s not a good idea”, “think happy thoughts” with long pauses in between each. It was super awkward too. Calling a suicide hotline is probably one of the worst things you could do when you’re feeling suicidal.
TOO BAD IT COULDNT HAVE ENDED SOONER!! I could’ve been just great not having lived the last 17 years of my life, or any of it at all for that manner. Life is so f*cked up, I shoulda been gone already!! Haha. I was going to kill my self on August 1, 2012. I am very heartbroken I haven’t committed suicide yet. A part of the reason is I have creepy stalkers. If I need to kill myself pronto than I have to go through a whole court process of disown my creepy stalkers so they cannot control my life with their nasty ones, change my name and then I’ll have to save a good 5,000$ to get a car to get me the f*ck out of the terrible hell I’ve been living in my entire life…. I was going to call once because of course the only people that host the organizations are pro-life retards (like walk for Down syndrome and the like) ugly whites just do it because looks good for their SOCIAL STATUS and they can think of nothing better to do for the next, uh, t-minus one week. I’m sure it doesn’t actually help anyone probably just pushes them more towards shooting themselves in the head with a shotgun. Kind of like hitler killing 50 million nazis, I don’t need to exist in this white la la land
Anyway I forgot to finish, I was going to call once just to tell them how they could never help a single soul or pretty much just shame them for running the thing that stands 100% against most legit suicidal peoples higher judgement .. as a joke of course, but the 11 minutes wait was too long. High traffic, huh? Hahahahahahahahaha all the suicidal people were probably too busy shoving their face with Taco Bell and thinking about the gun they have needed for at least 15 years to call in at the moment.
That’s pretty disheartening because I was planning to jump off San Francisco bridge probably as a Top 5 suicide methods, if I failed to purchase and commit with a shotgun