I used to continue living so I could get high (weed) but mostly I’m like I could kill myself now or wait a couple weeks and get high first then kill myself.
I used to smoke weed every day for my pain, depression, fear, uncomfort, etc. Then someone called the fat ugly policemen on me and I had to pay these fat beasts and their stupid fcking families 10,000$ at least, ha ha. You get what you deserve?
I’ve been trying/ hoping to commit suicide since 12 years old, every day of my life since 12, I’ve just spent it waiting for the day that I can commit suicide. I waited until 18 because I didn’t know how else to commit and you had to be 18 to purchase firearms so I was all planned and ready to buy a gun to shoot myself in the head then the day came and I couldn’t find 250$ without saving for 4 years. Then I saved that and bought a shotgun but it was taken away just an hour or so before I was finally capable of ending the life I’ve never wanted, so people I don’t or have NEVER liked (bordering on extreme hate) could force me to stay alive for them.
That was 2016, I’ve spent every day since then trying to get another shotgun or figure out another way to end my life (the one I don’t want but have been forced to stay alive for someone elses’ um what is the right work, benefit?)
While they mock me daily and torture me in nightmares. They were just making fun of a girl I loved that died a couple months ago. She was the only person I could every feel not TERRIFIED to talk to about how I was suicidal ..
Yes. I could probably buy a gun the same way I did last time, through a private seller. This guy I traded 400$ worth of items for a 200$ weapon because I was so desperate to get one and I had no cash money and had been needing one for 10 years. But then I was taken to mental hospital by the people I hate the most for 28 days where I broke my own neck. I still don’t know where they found out to think to search me.
If I can find a way to not have obsessive compulsive followers the I could probably find a way to buy a gun and not be sold out to all the obese ugly men on the squad. I mean all my life’s ever been for the last 7 or so years has been a psychologists lunch.
I couldn’t though you know just do it how I always imagined and just go to Walmart and buy a shotgun (I did look however the other day and it is about 145$ exactly the type that I need) because I have been in the LOONY BIN/ FUNNY FARM/ MENTAL HOSPITAL so Ir would have been already over had that not happened. I however did go to Walmart once and buy a pocketknife for 35$ this is a wholenother store I like to tell because then they told the cops I said I was going to stab someone. I didn’t say anything, but I still had to go to jail and pay 2000$
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I used to continue living so I could get high (weed) but mostly I’m like I could kill myself now or wait a couple weeks and get high first then kill myself.
I used to smoke weed every day for my pain, depression, fear, uncomfort, etc. Then someone called the fat ugly policemen on me and I had to pay these fat beasts and their stupid fcking families 10,000$ at least, ha ha. You get what you deserve?
I’ve been trying/ hoping to commit suicide since 12 years old, every day of my life since 12, I’ve just spent it waiting for the day that I can commit suicide. I waited until 18 because I didn’t know how else to commit and you had to be 18 to purchase firearms so I was all planned and ready to buy a gun to shoot myself in the head then the day came and I couldn’t find 250$ without saving for 4 years. Then I saved that and bought a shotgun but it was taken away just an hour or so before I was finally capable of ending the life I’ve never wanted, so people I don’t or have NEVER liked (bordering on extreme hate) could force me to stay alive for them.
That was 2016, I’ve spent every day since then trying to get another shotgun or figure out another way to end my life (the one I don’t want but have been forced to stay alive for someone elses’ um what is the right work, benefit?)
While they mock me daily and torture me in nightmares. They were just making fun of a girl I loved that died a couple months ago. She was the only person I could every feel not TERRIFIED to talk to about how I was suicidal ..
Why is it so hard for You to get money for a gun? If You had money would you be able to buy one?
Yes. I could probably buy a gun the same way I did last time, through a private seller. This guy I traded 400$ worth of items for a 200$ weapon because I was so desperate to get one and I had no cash money and had been needing one for 10 years. But then I was taken to mental hospital by the people I hate the most for 28 days where I broke my own neck. I still don’t know where they found out to think to search me.
If I can find a way to not have obsessive compulsive followers the I could probably find a way to buy a gun and not be sold out to all the obese ugly men on the squad. I mean all my life’s ever been for the last 7 or so years has been a psychologists lunch.
I couldn’t though you know just do it how I always imagined and just go to Walmart and buy a shotgun (I did look however the other day and it is about 145$ exactly the type that I need) because I have been in the LOONY BIN/ FUNNY FARM/ MENTAL HOSPITAL so Ir would have been already over had that not happened. I however did go to Walmart once and buy a pocketknife for 35$ this is a wholenother store I like to tell because then they told the cops I said I was going to stab someone. I didn’t say anything, but I still had to go to jail and pay 2000$
What are you gonna do, man?
One more question if you don’t mind. Do you have a job? Do you live with your parents?