Sometimes, I’ll be sitting down and thinking about something (or not) and my chest will fill up. I’ll feel as if a balloon is expanding my lungs and I’ll be choking down tears. I’ll start crying, but quickly tell myself to stop being such a ***** baby and stop. I’ll continue to feel overwhelmed, drawing in between anger and sadness, feeling so urged to break something I’d have to remind myself that I didn’t actually give in to the urge yet. This feeling will last for as long as it wants to, and sometimes I’ll have enough privacy to record a voice memo about it, although I have such a hard time listening to them again afterwards.
One time, I was drinking tea on my bed and a bit of it spilled on the bed. I felt overwhelmed all of a sudden, and was suddenly so angry that I spilled the rest of my tea on said bed and threw the mug against the wall. I wanted to cry and break everything all at once. After breaking the mug, I froze. I was so full of unexplainable anger and sadness. Has anyone ever felt this way? When? And do you know what this is by any chance? Is there something wrong with me?