Sorry for the spams but I feel like this site has been a lifeline the past couple of days, preventing from the overflow of emotions that eventually get me into trouble when I don’t keep my mouth shut. My liver and heart are no longer fucked so I’m heading home, told the doctors I feel fine when in fact I’ve felt like throwing up since 2am but I can throw up at home. Also told them I didn’t have an active plan, which I guess I don’t. Fantasies of jumping of bridges and in front of cars give me some relief that if I had the moment, I could take it. Apart from that I’m dreading seeing my friends and teachers, going to class and pretending to give a shit about exams. Excited to get my razors back though.
2 comments
Don’t say shit to doctors or anyone about a plan. People will flip their shit. I joked about suicide a bit back and had to go bullshit my way through therapy. Ap exams bout to kick my ass. Idek why I’m going to take them if I’m not going to be around but for a few days after.
Don’t know why people want to prevent others from committing suicide with force? I mean who are they helping, themselves or the person who wants to commit?
I don’t know. I just know that it’s f*cked up that they can drag you to and fro to therapy. I will always be suicidal and I can’t even take the stupid f*cks who teach the therapy seriously so I tune out the entire time.
But how can random people just jump in the way of a throughly thought out and believed in plan of suicide? I mean it won’t help the suicidal person believe me especially if that person has never cared about whomever wants to force them to be alive.
In my case, it is mostly random religious folk and it’s just really really sick….
I swear to God, I was hoping and planned to kill myself on my 18th birthday. I am only alive today because these crazy freaks have interrupted my every attempt. You know, the sad part is it has not ONE god damned thing to do with these people interfering…..