I feel lost, drifting. Some days I’m focused have enough to think this life’s actually worth it. Other times its just despair, trapped not wanting to leave my room. Loathing sunlight and the open air as if it were the enemy. The viscous cycle of negative thoughts that won’t silence. This is not what has led me to stand on the brink before. The anxiety and panic over academic work, whether or not I will fail. It hits me like a wave till I end up standing on the edge of a bridge or about to kick away the chair. This may seem irrational to many but, it’s where I end up. I haven’t been able to overcome survival instinct when standing there. Maybe someday.
Thanks for being an outlet, after days of reading others posts. It feels like a safe place to share.