Not suicide related…really.
I’m impatient. My first day in a training cafe wasn’t great, I had someone else there helping out as well, we did get the coffees out in a somewhat timely manner. I figure I need to get better at making them, seriously…But I have to wait one and a half bit weeks to go back there because its closed for that time. The teacher said I’ll need a few more times there.
I’m going to apply for some jobs tommorow, I’ll just approach businesses and hand in my resume (not necessarily coffee related). Look I don’t expect a reply, the job market is shit here, but I’m going to try anyway. I really dislike the fact that I don’t get paid while training here. If I don’t go to my regular job that day – I don’t get paid. So i’m just losing money on transport… not alot but it adds up.
I can’t see a way out of this… I can only live on hope now.
My first barista teacher was actually really sweet but I didn’t acknowledge her the other day in the training cafe. I didn’t want her to think that I was terrible at it, or see me as a failure…
How hard can coffee making really be? I read up on it, watch videos, but I think the only real way to learn is to do it hands on… and I don’t want to wait anymore… maybe my priorities are wrong…
I’ll just have to see how it goes :/
(Also I’m really stressed and I don’t eat much – its not helping)
Edit: I also want another job because I need more money but its not the sole reason. I hope there’s something i’ll enjoy.