It has been a long time since my last post, I lost the access to this site and I was unable to regain access. My life has changed drastically, my husband of more than 20 years wants the divorce.
I did not work in all these years because I was sick and there was not chemist position available where I live, I was stay home mom. I am looking for a job again, I will be alone all on my own soon, it looks like mission impossible. There are not chemist positions available. Do I have to make a career change? All is money and time consuming. Most of the positions available are for customer service, selling and I do not like that, and I apply and they do not call me. Well, well, nothing that I can do about it, just keep looking and thinking what I am going to do to change my life, time is ticking. People out there in the same search that I am are complaining that it is not easy to find a job when you are not in your 20 or 30, when you do not have enough experience or when you have been out of the market for a long time. I can cry, yell, complain all I want and nothing will change for that. I consulted the University of Cincinnati for a Medical Coding and Billing Certificate and it is more than 10.000 dollars. I am accepting suggestions, I need a quick fix, quick change, quick career that allow me to make some money before my divorce.
I am desperate, I am feeling alone, miserable, unsuccessful, a total lost.
Do I miss him? Yes, I miss being in his company and feeling protected. Now I am feeling naked, I am feeling devoid of the most elemental things. I am afraid of living. Tell me what I am going to do, how I can kill this desire of non existence
4 comments
I feel for you x There are many more jobs than the one you trained for. You need to change the internal monologue. Every time you have a negative thought, try to change it. i use a Buddhist chant. (om mani padma hum). It’s not easy. It’s all about retaining your brain. I hope you get past this stage in live. Thinking of you in my meditation x
Thanks for you words of support, you do not have idea how much you have helped me with few sentences and good thoughts. I will try to follow your advice. Life is not easy my friend, no easy at all.
10,000 is a lot of money but not the worst thing you could be spending it on. I’ve always been poor I just had to pay that to the police department so I could drive my car again because I had a bunch of weirdos following me so they sicked cops on me to take my license to amuse themselves…. I definitely think 10,000 would be a good investment for you. Definitely worse things to spend 10,000$ on…….
Sorry to hear about your car and what those weirdos did to you. I know 10.000 is not so much for education, but I do not have that money. For me 10.000 o more which is the cost of the program, it is a lot of money, a lot. Anyway, I will keep fighting and looking for a way out. Thanks for your message.