Home Coping Skills ._.
Report Post

._.

by winniethepooh

the one thing i literally cannot stand is when i try to reach out or vent or share my story people make it about themselves literally nothing can ever be about me i have to beg my parents to buy me things like food and soap and shoes and i have to beg them to take me to the doctor or get me school supplies if i ever reach out to people they start talking about their own shit and it’s really fucking invalidating and doesn’t help me at all nobody has lived my life nobody has been through the exact same situations i don’t wanna fucking hear about your problems when im in my own crisis no offense but i could fucking care less i don’t give a fuck if yoga and mindfulness makes you feel good ive been in and out of hospitals and therapists i know all the techniques and they don’t do shit because my brain is defective my needs are not met and nobody takes me seriously i wish i had been aborted because i don’t even have a life of my own im just put here to serve others in exchange for them giving me the bare minimum necessities and i fucking hate when people make assumptions about me don’t say that im obviously not going to kill myself because i posted on this website instead of attempting i don’t really want to kill myself because i know things could get better but when you say im just seeking attention it makes me more suicidal i wouldnt expect people on this site to say this but surprise my fucking defective bipolar ass brain tells me suicide would be easier than riding the wave if i kill myself i will be more of a disappointment than i already am you don’t fucking know me so don’t act like you do just because i feel suicidal doesn’t mean i want to fucking try to kill myself i don’t want to let these feelings win i want to get better but fuck all the cards are stacked against me

2 comments
0

Related posts

2 comments

LostInside 5/16/2019 - 10:43 pm

I’m sorry if I invalidated your feelings.

Cause of Death: Suicide 5/18/2019 - 8:34 am

I also dislike when people say things like you just want attention, or you won’t kill yourself because you told someone your suicidal which means you wanted help or some stupid shit like that. I also really hate the if you haven’t committed already, then you won’t thing because if you really wanted to you would have already.

Like 1) I don’t want attention, ever, I didn’t even mean to tell anyone I knew that I was going to kill myself. I was just going to do it and leave a goodbye note. I didn’t want anyone to know (not like there’s anyone in my life, or that I have any friends to tell, or anyone I care about, that I would miss too much to kill myself. I’ve always pretty much just been alone – Thank God)

2) No techniques don’t help, medication doesn’t help, therapy doesn’t help at all. Those things are like slavery to me. Everyone keeps telling me it’s a “mental illness.” I think it is a personal decision.

3) I’ve been hoping to end my life for a long time. I’m done with living. There’s nothing I could ever do to improve my situation. It’s not worth it. But that doesn’t mean I can kill myself so easily. Especially now that they’ve taken me hostage and doped me up on their medication. Now that I’ve been forced into their system I can’t just go get the gun I need to commit, after 13 years of planning, and end my unwanted and unnecessary life. Now I’ve had to look for another way to end it although that had always been my go-to. So I may have to travel and spend a ton of money JUST TO END MY LIFE.

Right now my agenda looks like: either finish my jail work and work my day job to pay my last remaining debt of 2,000$ then attempt or attempt without paying it and maybe have this really cheap, quick method not work.

Then if it doesn’t work – things will get fun, I’ll have to see if I can purchase firearms or if I’ll be denied based on my -background- (being taken hostage and doped in their unit) and I’ll have to maybe get a cheap car to commit in (~1,000$)

And if that doesn’t work and I’m denied, things will get really really fun and I’ll have to buy a plane ticket to Mexico City to get the monster.

Oh well maybe something will look up and a better way to commit will appear in front of me.

So don’t be like if you haven’t then you won’t, you know?

And on top of that I started being followed and raped in 2015 and now I tally in at 165 rapes since December 2015.

Leave a Comment