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To climb out of the wreckage of lies, deception and willful betrayal and duplicity. To perceive who someone really is under their ingenuous disguise of innocent princess playing the victim. Covert narcissism runs deep in a traumatized mind. I’ll burn the whole world down to achieve my success and realize my nocturnal dreams to reality. I’ll be damned if I let the insidious lies of a miserably trapped, cognitively dissonant, neurotically insipid, and untreated psychotic disassemble my life. The fire inside of me rages with flames of pride, dignity, and truth of self. The distinctive I. I, Ryze. And I know the Creator. My I is one with the I of the Creator guiding my life.  The eternal flame feeding the infinite creativity intrinsic to my nature. I, comatose. Yet I, ryze despite the adversity, opposition and social control. The truth is a terrible thing and you hid too many secrets. My allegiance is to the eminent self, and the transcendent entity. Your allegiances speak for themselves in your poisonous actions, words, and doublespeak. Hidden behind your veil of delusions of grandeur, your grandiose ego and superficial machinations of a personality. Fuck you. I refuse to be held down. This is a declaration to MY future!


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a1957 5/28/2019 - 10:01 pm

As I understand this, year are on your way to a good life.

d3miurg3 5/29/2019 - 12:41 am

It will be a life of passion, creativity and the edge. Not good in the sense of happiness but it will continue to be an adventure. The ride never ends.

a1957 5/29/2019 - 9:24 am

I can relate to all of this and there could be just little times of happiness along the way.

d3miurg3 5/29/2019 - 9:27 am

I deserve happiness. Although I’m not so naive to believe that happiness is a constant state of being. I know when I’m engrossed in my creative outlets time stands still and I’m happy. Life is a war though. It’s a fuckin war.

d3miurg3 5/29/2019 - 9:34 am


rocketman 5/29/2019 - 9:39 am

Absolutely never give up and never give in! 🙂 I admire your strength! going quietly into the night never appeals to me! When the going gets rough get rougher when the going gets tough get tougher and when the going gets the roughest get tougher!!! I AM D3miurg3 HEAR ME ROAR!!!!

d3miurg3 5/29/2019 - 9:42 am

Trust me. You never met someone tougher than me. I, survive my friend. I survive.

rocketman 5/29/2019 - 9:50 am

Sounds like I met my match! That’s great to hear! 🙂

d3miurg3 5/29/2019 - 10:00 am

You bet! Take it easy.

FarahLajeenNourAlDeen 5/29/2019 - 8:07 pm

despite the [very valid & well-reasoned] anger
this was really beautiful to read <3

i feel your pain
& equally your drive

i pray the former could gradually,
in time,
faint & fade away

& i do want you to keep the latter
so as to keep moving forwards

but, still, i remind you,
as you've so eloquently described in your own words,
to keep,
if even a tiny,
small small,

for forgiveness
or at least
for "understanding"

that it is almost always the case
that the "other"
is "miserably trapped"
or ill & "untreated"

you might not like that room
but please do keep it

it's a gauge,
a pressure valve

if it's not there to give your heart "some" peace

then at least at least
it's there
so that your own fire
wouldn't burn you

i truly truly wish you all the best

Keep Going!
&Keep it Up!

spookichick 5/30/2019 - 2:35 pm

you took the words right out of my mouth. stay strong!

Silversilvers 5/31/2019 - 1:30 pm

I admire your passion, and truthfully I envy your wonderful way of being able to put all your emotions down in just a few words. You’re a beautiful person. Stay strong my friend.

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