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by deep.abyss

I’ll never, never gonna be able to do that to you. I may joke about it some times or try to make an attempt to do it but honestly I’ll never. Even though you said it’s normal in a relationship, I still don’t know. I hate myself for thinking like this. I should be a bit rational about this and think like hey this is normal couples do this they trust each other blah blah. I still think it’s not nice. I may joke about the human genitals but I’ll never ask for someone to take a pic of theirs and send it to me. Or maybe I’m just all talks for now and a little later in life I might do it. But that will be entirely up to a lot more mature and adult me. I don’t even know why I’m crying right now. I don’t know if it is because she made you do that or you let yourself do that. But most of it, I think it’s because I’m disappointed with myself. Why? I don’t know. I really don’t know. And no matter how much I try to look at it differently or try to think of some rational thoughts, I still think the same. Fuck me.
I’m mad. I’m mad because she made you do that. Or I’m mad at myself for being mad because of that. I honestly, tremendously don’t know.
God, help me?

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