Does anyone (in their mind when they think something is unfair/stupid) use their fucked up past/ traumatizing experiences as an excuse to do fuck all and rationalize every bad choice they make?
Nobody gave a shit about me when I was struggling. I feel like I have the right to not do schoolwork and be apathetic towards everything related to school, I have the right to treat my mom like shit because she did the same thing to me and my brothers when we were younger, I have the right to take a fucking break with everything because I never got one when I was younger. But, I don’t have that right. I can’t just act the way I want: But I do.
And does it really matter in the long run? I plan on killing myself before I’m an adult, maybe I will, maybe I won’t. All I know is that if I don’t, adulthood is going to whip my fucking ass because I’ve wanted to kill myself my whole life. I’ve never prepared for adulthood.