i hate existing

i really dont want to live. i dont want to be alive. to care for people or talk. i can barely even talk to myself. i dont want to be here. i’ve tried i stayed away and said i’ll work things out i’ll think more i’ll be more positive or i’ll just throw away all my thoughts and pretend life doesn’t bother me, but it didnt work. i’m here wanting to slit my throat. it’s harder each time. i want to end this.