I wish I would stop lashing out at my boyfriend, well it’s never really going to get any better. I’ll probably end up driving him away in the end. Yeah imagine that, a fucked up person driving away another fucked up person. :O
I was mad because I wanted to meet 1st August but there’s only like 11 or 12 days away and he still hasn’t found accommodation. Not sure if he’s that BUSY with work, if I’m an asshole, or he’s just lazy. Or I didn’t give him enough notice. Or he doesn’t really want to meet me.
Now I’ll apologise yet again. Don’t care about this shit… yes I do… I’m attracted to him and its making me impatient, I guess at the same time I don’t want to look clingy and obsessed. I guess he doesn’t really trust me anyway. Nobody likes or trusts me. Well, my own fault really lol. Don’t want pity for that.
But I thought he’d be nicer too. I thought he really WANTED TO MEET ME. But he doesn’t actually always show it, which, NEWSFLASH, also makes me wonder.
I should go and cry in a corner forever. I don’t deserve anyone. He told me recently that he’d rather wait until he would get his own permanent place which really could take months… possibly even years. I JUST WANT TO FUCKING MEET HIM DOESN’T HE UNDERSTAND????????? god.
Yes, sometimes I do think of getting another boyfriend, but uhhh… nah. I don’t want to do that…