i want to stop thinking.
my opinions, my thoughts, they disgust me more than anything in life. i know that i didnt say anything wrong, but i can’t stand my opinions, my thoughts, the way i speak. i’m pressing the unsend button but internet won’t let it go back. it was just a simple “bro what thats crazy”but i hate the sentence, i hate how its written by me, i shouldnt have sent it, i shouldnt have published this post either, i forgot to use ‘ in shouldnt, holy fuck i can’t stand the way i do things. if i were anyone else i would come to me and beat me the fuck up until my brain leaks out, but i can’t, if i leave i would hate myself more, why can’t they stop caring, i really love them and i would hate how my disappearance would flip their lives upside down. i can’t do it, i’m stuck with this mind, for the rest of my god knows how long life
2 comments
yup, as the quote goes, “sometimes to stay alive you’ve gotto kill your mind” (Twenty One Pilots). Hating your mind is worse than hating your guts because as they say it’s all in the mind, all about the mind – the cradle of reality as you perceive it. Anyway, hope you learn to master your mind, I haven’t managed with mine yet haha
To stop thinking can be the greatest triumph of our lives. By all means try it- meditation, exercise, chanting, work , hobby- anything that subdues thought. Lately I listened to an audiobook of Tao te ching in which the author Lao Tzu says- ‘I’m like an idiot; my mind is so empty.’ What a pristine state of mind to be in! I wish I could be that way just for a few minutes.