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helpless

by arzie

I truly feel so incrediblely helplessnto the point I don’t know what my purpose is, or if I even have one. I don’t have any motivation to do anything anymore after years of everything I love, being taken away from me. I was given multiple “second” chances to live again, but I don’t even know how to??? Why was I given them only for me to be living in misery? Nothing ever works out in my favor and I don’t know what to do to help myself out of this hole. I’m alone with no one to turn to so here I am.

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Cause of Death: Suicide 8/16/2019 - 11:23 pm

I’ve been alone my whole life, I’ve never had anyone to talk to so I’ve always had to keep everything inside. I’m actually happy and hopeful that I’ve never had anyone or anything in my life because it will make it easier for me to die. When you know you have no one to care, you could pull the trigger and it’s the easiest thing in the world. I’ve looked forward to committing suicide for the past 15 years, but I get very nervous thinking I might get followed by strangers upon buying the shotgun to end my life with. Why do they do this? People you’ve never met, have never loved, have never cared about, will never love, will never care about, disallowing a random stranger from taking their own life. Is it because of their religion? I am an atheist, why should these Christian strangers get to choose for me whether I live or die.

legchal 8/18/2019 - 2:37 am

honestly, i feel exactly the same, i just look so lucky, good fammily that cares about me and stuff, but why i feel so sad, so alone, so helpless, so lost? i think about killing myself everyday, i dont know what to do, what to think, what to say, i dont even understand myself anymore. I understand you, believe, i do.

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