i can’t let anyone go.
everyday i woke up with the inner voice telling me: do it, this is the day.
i try to keep that urge at the bottom of everything but it doesn’t work. is it my fault? yes. asking for help and some medicine would make it stop, at least that’s what i believe how those pill works.
i’m overanalyzing everything, every word, every expression on people’s faces and i can’t help it. the messages i see kept telling me they hate me, especially when i lift the mask off.
i’m tired, i’m tired and scared, all i want is this to end in any possible way. i don’t care how much it hurts, i don’t care how my corpse would look like. i can’t be alone with myself without the feeling popping up one by one, i can’t be with other people without the cloud following on the top of my head.