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She hugged me today.

She’s hugged me twice before. On my birthday, and again, on a day when I was miserable.

But today… I wasn’t turning a year older, or falling apart inside.

She just, hugged me. For no reason. Because, she wanted to? Because she thought I would want her to?

I don’t know. But for once, there wasn’t a clear reason..

Maybe now I’ll finally be brave enough to hug her. And not feel restrained by the necessity of needing a reason.

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5 comments

LightWillow 10/20/2019 - 4:37 pm

I don’t get hugs very often haha

shatterediris 10/20/2019 - 11:58 pm

Hugs are weird…. I have one friend that I don’t see much physically and they insist on hugging me every time they do. :/
I don’t think I’ll ever be one to initiate hugs though. And I am quite happy that my friend does at least warn me of the incoming hug, I don’t handle surprise hugs well.

ultraviolet 10/21/2019 - 2:29 am

I kept asking myself, “why does he want to no longer be darkwillow”? Your new way of thinking? New choice of destination, being no longer dark. But why? People can’t change names in real life and choose to be someone else? Can they? I don’t think so, because no matter what as humans, our past follows us, it’s a matter of not giving a shit about what others think or expecting back from people.

Not gonna lie I’ve been checking SP every other day. Waiting for my answer. Here it is. And let me start with, I hope you go into this new perspective of light to not be influenced or acted upon because someone cares.

I’ve never touched a soul yet know so much by just observing. Don’t expect from her. Don’t want a hug, even though hugs feel good and make us feel wanted. Because sooner or later people leave. And they find better people even though you were the best because humans are never satisfied.

If you do. You’ll never want to be light again. Because it was influenced by humans who don’t move like light does. Humans move at the pace of our heartbeats. Slow. Rhythmic. It’s a routine. Find yourself wanting to be light because you looked into your universe eyes and saw that speckle of light and grace and love and brightness within yourself, not because someone else sees it.

But it’s your heart. Your mind. Your life. Just some advice from an insignificant figure.

I ultimately don’t care.

LightWillow 10/21/2019 - 2:06 pm

Names are curious. I still call you ultraviolet despite knowing your human name.

Well, to start.. no. I don’t like being dark. You’re named after a light and I’m named after the absence of it. I chose that name when I was 14, be cause that was the emotion I felt. And, it’s still the emotion I feel, but I no longer want to be named after what I feel. I want to be named after what I am. Or at least, what I wish to be.

Dark was an emotion i felt after my first girlfriend left me. That name was determined by the emotions I had with her. So in a way, it was the name darkwillow that was determined by someone else.

But when I look at myself, I don’t see an empty void.

I don’t want to be reminded of cold and emptiness everytime I see my name.

There are other exterior lights in my life. And they’re lovely. But I like to imagine a world where, I could be one too.

hope432 10/22/2019 - 4:50 pm

Thank you for sharing this with all. I enjoyed reading it.

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