I can empathize. I lost a friend because he kept deliberately operating his airplane in an unsafe condition. They called it an accident but it was only an accident waiting to happen. It was not until about two years after the “accident” that I finally saw the “accident” report and saw what he was doing so wrong. He is dead by his very own actions. I wept for him off and on for about 10 years.
I realize that I knew my friend and you didn’t know this classmate, but still, when someone dies and at some level we get why they had something to do with it and we also know that it could have been us being mourned it does hurt. It sure does.