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Relapse

by morieris

Once again I’m here to read ppl’s agony. It grounds me whenever I have suicidal thoughts. It’s tragic to know that people are there for you but eventually they’ll get tired of your shit and toxcitity then leave you knowing that it would make you misery. Makes me want to kill myself more. I know that I don’t have to depend on people and get their validation but it’s hard not to when you rlly love those ppl around you. I feel like a burden. Always have been. I blame myself for everything and for the existence I found no purpose and not thankful for. I wish I could give my span of life to someone in need or more deserving. It’s my 4th year of depression and can’t seem to imagine that this cycle would continue for far more years to come. Bullshit. I hope that the world would end soon so I wouldn’t have to kill myself as soon as possible. I hate pain. I was okay. But relapse is real.

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Ennui 3/30/2020 - 7:30 am

well as for your hope that the world ends soon, 2020 has had a promising start with Australia burning, threats of a 3rd world war and a global lockdown due to a pandemic. One can only hope for things to escalate 🙂

nodira 4/5/2020 - 3:02 pm

your post is like looking in a mirror for me. relapse sucks. hurting those you love even more so. i don’t know what to do anymore. stay strong, catch you on the flip side.

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