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why are video games more important then me? my exs ignored me to play them even my own father that hasnt seen me in 18yrs does it. oh well….i guess no one likes me šŸ™

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13 comments

Wisp 3/28/2020 - 10:50 pm

in a healthy relationship if someone liked video games they would balance that time with spending it with the other person as well.

Soda 3/29/2020 - 1:25 am

Escapism, video games create a world where you get to be in control, decimating your enemies or socially interacting with absolutely no real-world consequences.

I wouldn’t take it too personally, most of us who play video games do it for fun and it’s a stress-reliever. Of course those who play for hours on end, have real issues, esp if they’re ignoring their real life.

I’m assuming you have your own interests that you get intensely involved with, this is very similar.

One of my ex-girlfriends used to love to party with her friends almost every weekend. She was hot and I suspected she would eventually cheat on me and so I broke up with her.

In my case I think I had a valid reason to doubt her since she was intentionally putting herself in a position to find other men. One of the downsides of dating beautiful girls.

DOA 3/29/2020 - 3:56 am

1) it’s quarter to 5am and I just woke up from a drunk and high night so if something is worded poorly and comes off sounding mean…..I’m sorry I don’t mean to.

2) how can one not take it personally when literally every single person passes them up for video games. All I’ve ever heard is “I’m busy playing a game” that’s a bit ridiculous

3) “Iā€™m assuming you have your own interests that you get intensely involved with, this is very similar.” You are right of course I have my own interest. The difference is though…..I ALWAYS put everyone else first. I might need to seconds to finish a line in a book or something but that’s completely different then blowing the person off like they aren’t there.

So I hope after me explain how that’s all I hear after doing everything for them that maybe you understand why I do take it personally and why it hurts so much.

I can give you all of my time, why can’t I have a second of yours? (Not you just people in general) I’ve never had anyone. No one ever gave me attention. Not my parents, not my friends, not my BF’s……if you don’t understand just try to sit in my shoes for a second and think about how you’d feel.

Soda 3/29/2020 - 2:40 pm

Unfortunately everyone takes you for granted because you put them first and they know you’ll always be there. Perhaps you shouldn’t be as available for them. Also it might help to have a discussion and let them know you don’t appreciate being ignored.

Maybe you should have some agreed time set aside to be together. We all need our “me time” also. I know when I’m in the middle of a game I don’t like to be disturbed unless it’s something important.

So it’s more just about negotiating time with others. If you feel that you’re not appreciated then maybe find a guy who is more interested in spending time with you than with video games.

thehusk 3/29/2020 - 7:11 am

Video games can be hugely addictive for some people (I should know.) It might be the equivalent of someone not being there for you because they’re constantly high/drunk.

Or it might really be a reflection on the quality of your relationships.

DOA 3/29/2020 - 8:47 am

id have to say its more of a reflection of the relationship then anything else. although i can see how it would be addicting. the joy and pride one must feel from completing a mission or the whole game. not that id really know im horrible at playing games and a professional at dying in them. and i do understand addiction. just this morning i messaged my friend saying “from now on when im drinking or smoking up im not messaging you. either im an addict and well rarely if ever talk or ill miss you and straighten up” he thinks i drink too much. however much like my depression i lack seeing a problem. i shouldnt be mentally unstable it wasnt that bad. people have had it worse. i dont drink that much. theres people that drink a lot more then me. i know its probably a bad state of mind to have but i have no idea how to change it and ive tried. anyway i kinda went off topic probably because my husband kept asking for my attention and im having a drink…..point is what you say makes sense to me

thehusk 3/29/2020 - 9:29 am

If you’re happy with the things you do then perhaps it’s not a problem. I find myself often doing things compulsively – out of habit. And not really enjoying them that much – even hating myself afterwards. But resisting doing them feels worse somehow – because I’ve learned to associate doing those things with escaping negative feelings. And if I don’t then I just have to sit with those intolerable feelings. When I could be enjoying that next dopamine hit instead.

I think that’s what addictions are for me. And the chances of me ever wanting to give them up seem slim. Like you said, I think I’ve tried.

DOA 3/29/2020 - 9:44 am

im not happy. but life sucks when im not drinking or high so what can i do. its like i told my friend. life has kicked the shit out of me and i cant handle it. what is it with people anyway? they wont let us die or live our life the way we want because living sucks but we all know if they were living our lives theyd probably be doing the same things. yet some seem it selfish that we want to die. wouldnt it be selfish of them for wanting us to not only live but live to their standards forcing us to suffer. is drinking and doing drugs wrong. yes. but you wont let us die and our brains are toxic. if we dont do SOMETHING we will literally go insane (which im fairly confident im on my way to anyway) its a vicious circle thats somehow our fault.

thehusk 3/29/2020 - 10:40 am

Suicide does have a massive impact on those who are left behind, so in that sense it can be viewed as selfish. But suicidal people are generally desperate and feel unable to tolerate life, so it’s kind of beyond standard considerations of selfishness. Expecting someone to endure anguish to protect others from it wouldn’t apply in other circumstances. If someone were being tortured you probably wouldn’t think too harshly of them for giving up information on their friends in order to make it stop (though obviously it would be better if they were able to endure it.)

Addiction can also have a huge negative impact on surrounding people. But again, addicts are often desperate and feel unable to tolerate life.

Nobody ever gets to see what it’s like being everyone around them.

theagonyandtheecstasy_ 3/30/2020 - 12:32 am

if you talked about it upsetting you and nothing phased him, I don’t blame you for feeling hurt. your feelings should come first, a video game isn’t worth this problem.

theagonyandtheecstasy_ 3/30/2020 - 12:34 am

soda…… *eyeroll

Soda 3/30/2020 - 1:03 am

theagony…..*facepalm

theagonyandtheecstasy_ 3/30/2020 - 12:35 am

Lol c.f. jk, kind of

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