Last few weeks I’ve allowed myself to cross borders I’ve never crossed before. I’ve really pushed myself out of my comfort zone. I opened myself up a bit to some new people, one of which a quite interesting girl. I left myself in a vulnerable position, and d**n if I didn’t pay the price for it… Everything I seem to do now just worsens the situation and I’m pushed further back into isolation and I feel more lonely and misunderstood than ever before. Being so close to some actual real human contact and having it taken away so close to the finish line. Such a tragedy. I messed up real bad. Suddenly the thought strikes me again after a few months of silence, “maybe I should do the world a favor and just kill myself”?
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You failed? Try again. I also suck at socializing, but I never give up and now I’ve got a few friends. And it’s like that: friendship comes and goes, and only happy memories remain when people don’t. My friendship with someone is over? No problem: I befriend someone else. Killing yourself won’t do the world any favor: it will just make your family sad.