I had my first therapy session with my new counselor yesterday. I want to say she is the fifth one I’ve ever had. It’s hard to keep track. Anyways it was a pretty standard first session. Asked me basic demographic info, family history, social history, relationship history, what is my medication, what I have been diagnosed with etc. Overall standard procedure. The latter half was bit more interesting though. My main reason for trying therapy again is that I recently learned that I have a fear of failure. It was a somewhat odd observation, seeing as how obvious it was, but finally figuring it out gave me some what of a revelation. I always hated going to therapy for depression and anxiety because those are such vague concepts. Depression just means I feel like shit. I don’t necessarily know why, I just know I do. So working towards fixing such a vague problem always seemed pointless to me. But with this there is a concrete specific thing I can focus on. Something I can work towards. I really want to give this time a shot. I want to at the very least fix this problem. So the latter half I talked about how much I hated my internship last summer and how useless I felt. How relieved I was when this summer internship got cancelled cause of covid. I mean she didn’t say anything I didn’t hear before, but the fact that she said was a bit comforting. Anyways, I have some hope for this time around. I think I’ve got a shot for this one. I just hope I keep feeling that way.