4/25/18 was the last time I wrote on here… and boy has so much happened since then. I was finishing up 8th grade after getting out of a high focus center (which did nothing for me) I was finishing middle school and getting ready for high school. I guess I was okay around that time, although I still would self harm, but I forgot about this account. But freshman year I lost my v-card to my next door neighbor who I still have feelings for, I had gotten a boyfriend who actually met my whole family but later crushed my heart by cheating on me over the summer while i was away with some b*tch he called his best friend who was his best friends new ex. Anyways since then I’ve only slept with people for closure, and now I’ve lost all hope in love. That year I also started vaping, that was until my mom found my nicotine and took the battery and all that away, so now I’m onto smoking weed. And with my meds, within a span of 4 years I stopped taking them slowly, I was forced into seeing a therapist, not long after I stopped going to that. And now I’m a junior going onto being a senior, and I know for a fact I am not ready for it. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore and I think im just going to give up on a future. Unless someone will help me become an adult being I literally know nothing about adulting.
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2 comments
None of us know what we’re doing. Adulting sucks. Lol. That’s said, it’s not like it’s that difficult, it’s just living, which is what you already have to do. Just take it one step at a time.
every single day i doubt myself and ask “how am i gonna get through this day?”. idk how i do it, i just fucking get through each day and think of it as an achievement. i’m currently in a uni i don’t like, surrounded by people with whom i don’t/can’t get along with, in a place i fucking hate. life doesn’t get better. i thought my junior year was the worst, senior year turned out to be a hundred times worse. my family situation isn’t that great either and i’ve taken up smoking/drinking as a way to cope up. shit happens and honestly, there’s nothing anyone can do about it. 99% of the time, idk what i’m doing with my life. i merely push through so that i can create a future for myself and remove all toxic people/things from my life. take slow steps, one day at a time. hell, even an hour at a time. be proud of yourself for coming this far and be strong as all of us have a long way to go.