made everything seem absolutely fine even though i was highly depressed, skipped worked, drank and played a game with my friend, he had no idea about any of it. i didnt mention anything about depression. he doesnt know i didnt go to work today. and he doesnt know that the whole time we were playing a game that i was drinking. i would have been high too but my weed was with my husband…at work. now i just need to keep up with everything seeming fine. break up with my husband. move out on my own. keep hiding everything from my friend and get involved with drugs and shit so i can have a place to stay without having a job. this is gonna be fun. and maybe if im lucky ill die at some point. hopefully not before any of this happens though, death right now would be difficult but if this situation i have dreamed for myself succeeds my death wont matter to anyone.