Is everybody here working / have a job? How do you cope daily?

These are great questions. So here is how one person copes.

I still have work as I am in an essential industry. I work for my mental and financial well being. Roughly one-third of my working years (43) have been under conditions of excellent management and and excellent co-workers. The other two-thirds of my working years have been hard to tolerate. I positioned myself to get back into a healthy workplace and honestly was preparing to off myself just as this present job offered itself.

As to pessimistic about life, I have been personally pessimistic about it nearly 60 years, only in the last 2 have I seen how I could want to live. For those 60 years I was kept alive by denial, some narcissism, staying too busy to notice my pain, thinking I was the only one who knew anything about life (yeah right, not!!), and other such strangeness. While I was staying too busy to notice my pain I was sure giving plenty of it to others.

I also survived by being unwilling to do the deed unless I had a partner. I got one. That should have sealed my demise, except she backed out on the day before our d-day.

So I live on with numerous supports but I will never forget what put me so close to a planned departure. I believe I will always have a soft spot in my heart for those who hate life. Some day, if conditions warrant, I may still die a non-traditional death. I doubt that will be anytime soon now.