All I have ever wanted is for someone to understand me, where I am coming from. No one ever does it is like they are incapable of understanding. They can’t imagine or even empathize the things I’ve been through and continue going through. I figure if I am so quick to throw my life away then let it be for something that matters. So I have been sacrificing my life for over a year in place of a sick relative. I sacrificed pursing a career so I could devote more time and care to her. My happiness sacrificed, relaxing, traveling, friendships, relationships, having kids. And when my relative dies I will have nothing left just a shell and I will have no one left that I truly love and care for. This is hell on earth and it hurts to be alive truly, I’m living a slow and painful death everyday. I look forward to the day when I feel nothing when I cease to exist and all the hurt goes away. My pain has been abusing me and I am at my breaking point. I have been strong I have fought an overcome many things in my life. I don’t want more things to overcome if living means continuing this vicious cycle then I would truly rather be dead. I give up, I am tired of trying, I am defeated, I need help I can’t seem to get, I am done.