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To be understood

by alina_01

All I have ever wanted is for someone to understand me, where I am coming from. No one ever does it is like they are incapable of understanding. They can’t imagine or even empathize the things I’ve been through and continue going through. I figure if I am so quick to throw my life away then let it be for something that matters. So I have been sacrificing my life for over a year in place of a sick relative. I sacrificed pursing a career so I could devote more time and care to her. My happiness sacrificed, relaxing, traveling, friendships, relationships, having kids. And when my relative dies I will have nothing left just a shell and I will have no one left that I truly love and care for. This is hell on earth and it hurts to be alive truly, I’m living a slow and painful death everyday. I look forward to the day when I feel nothing when I cease to exist and all the hurt goes away. My pain has been abusing me and I am at my breaking point. I have been strong I have fought an overcome many things in my life. I don’t want more things to overcome if living means continuing this vicious cycle then I would truly rather be dead. I give up, I am tired of trying, I am defeated, I need help I can’t seem to get, I am done.

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ashadow 7/12/2020 - 10:32 pm

A true understanding is hard to fathom. It only comes from sharing similar experiences.

I’m sorry you can’t get the help you need; I’m sure it’s not for lack of trying. I do know that the weary always get their rest, even if it takes far too long.

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