there’s too much going on at the same time. u cant focus on one thing. so you try to handle multiple things at the same time but you and i both know, that that doesn’t end up well. cuz u find urself in a mess, a mess that just keeps on increasing. the more you try to run, the messier it becomes. and when you realize that instead of running, you shouldve tried to clean the mess, it’s too late. the clock has stopped ticking. your heart has stop pounding.
you tried to find things that make you laugh, things that distract you from your shitty self. but at the end of the day, when there’s no one to distract you, you meet yourself. for a few minutes, you may even try finding a different source to keep your mind busy. but it doesn’t matter if you find it or not because you can’t ignore the fact that you’re alone, all by yourself. and that there’s no one who’s gonna listen to your screams and sobs and comfort you. so you cry alone. you cry against the pillow so that no one can hear you. it’s funny right, your silent cries wish for someone to hear them even when they’re silent. no one is going to help you, that’s for sure. so now what have you decided? well if you ask me, the only options are to give up or to give up.
2 comments
I can relate man I’m always looking for a new ways to take my mind off of all my inner struggles and all these overwhelming thoughts of mine. They end up just being an escape and more of a bandaid only providing only temporary relief. I have come to realize that I have a sickness and I don’t think there is a permanent cure. Ignoring the problem doesn’t help either, your internal problems will not fix themselves. They just compound the more you ignore them. Do you not have anyone you can talk to? Family or Friends? Are you literally alone or do you just feel alone? I cry a lot sometimes to and I do the same thing and just keep to myself and silently cry for help that’s not coming. You are not alone man.. Giving up is not a viable solution for our sickness. There are always consequences for all our actions. Have you tried any other options? If you wanna give up that’s your choice and remember only you will have to answer for your actions. Just make sure you don’t rush into making a decision that cant be undone….
Thank you for your comment.
If you look at the way things in my life are from outside, you’ll find that I’m anything but depressed. I’m not literally alone, I’ve a family and basically everything one needs as a human. But the way this mind thinks, is not healthy. I’ve tried talking to my mom but all in vain, she couldn’t believe that I had all these thoughts.
Giving up has been a choice since a long time. It’s just that as time passed, the other choices faded away.