It seems like every day I wake up questioning whether love will ever find me. Whether I will ever meet someone that I can love romantically. Someone who can love, appreciate and accept who I am even my flaws as I will do the same for them. Or that anyone would ever find me attractive. Every day I can never seem to shake the belief that I am destined to forever walk the earth alone until the day that I die, not knowing what it feels like to have someone love you or what it feels like to love someone. Or maybe it’s that I don’t deserve someone to love, but I don’t know, maybe that’s just my self-hatred talking instead of what I truly believe deep down. Until the day comes that someone comes into my life where I can love them, this feeling will never go away and it feels like it’s eating away at my spirit.
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It seems, that you are desperately trying to find love and I wonder, if that’s really so important.? With love comes also a great deal of pain. But I think I can understand that.. picturing how the person looks like, or rather, how good that love treats you and how good you suddenly feel, so that your usual problems seem less terrible. It’s good you’re open for that, so you’ll probably find it soon enough, maybe even without searching for it.! I for one am scared of love like that, I’m no good in a relationship…