What A Strange Experience

I just got off the phone with my college’s helpline. For whatever reason I thought It would make me feel better to empty my head. I usually come here for that, but I felt the need to hear a real person speaking back. I wasn’t in any particular distress. I’m actually somewhat calm right now. I have a lot of things to do, and have deadlines coming up for various things, but I spent the whole day sleeping. I just felt like sleeping, so I did. Anyways, for whatever reason I decided to call these people, just to hear someone else. This is the second time I’ve called this particular line, and the third time overall calling a line. Man though, it’s hard to take these people seriously. They have this subdued, breathy voice thing going on. Like they’re trying hard not to upset you, but it just comes off as so weird to me. Like I’m calling a weird sex line and they are trying to have this husky, sultry voice. Anyways, once I got there, I felt little to no need to talk to this guy anymore. Like when I dialed the number, I thought it would make me feel a bit better, but now it just feels creepy. So I hung up after a minute. I wanted to talk about her and how I haven’t heard from her in a bit. I wanted to tell him that I understood why she isn’t responding, but wish she was. It’s not as bad as last time, but I’m curious how long that will last. Last time it was several months of nothing. This time It’s only been a few weeks. However, I want to try and be more understanding this time. I know how hard things are for her, so I just want to be there when she comes back. I hope she comes back. If she doesn’t, then at least I saw her that one last time. I try really hard to remember what it was like to hug her, but I can’t pinpoint the sensation. I just remember holding her tight. I don’t think I’ll be making a habit of calling those lines anymore. Too creepy for my taste. I think I’ll just stick to emptying my skull here.