I don’t have it in me. To end my life, or to make my life worthwhile. I just want to give up. I want the pain to stop. But it won’t. It only gets worse. And I’m too much of a coward to end it. I’ll just suffer on miserably, until things finally fall apart, and even then I’ll cling on. And when death is finally forced on me, I’ll still deny the reality of it.