I have Schizoid PD, Depressive Subtype
Multiple-Complex Developmental Disorder (Autism Spectrum Disorder)
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
possible Korsakoff’s Syndrome, or prefrontal lobe damage/unidentified condition
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The last official diagnosis was comorbid BPD, bipolar disorder, and major depressive disorder. That was a long time ago.
Ouch. That sounds rough.
Yeah, some days life feels like a cruel joke, but I know that others have it worse too. (See below answers :/ )
oops??? lol i can always share
Lol. I would take some from you if it would help.
I mean, if you can’t tell by the name, “Multiple-Complex Developmental Disorder” is a bit of everything. I know people don’t understand these diseases though. One of the reasons I asked is because some of the more saccharine posts here actually make me cringe. But that’s just the kind of person I am. On top of MCPD features causing social disinterest, detachment, avoidance etc. I have mild Schizoid PD:
neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family
almost always chooses solitary activities
has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person
takes pleasure in few, if any, activities
lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives
appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others
shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affect
Sooo I don’t tend to get very sentimental
im probably going to forget something
capgras syndrome
borderline personality disorder
social anxiety
claustrophobia (phobias in general…especially needles)
separation anxiety
depersonalization-derealization dissociation
complex post traumatic stress disorder
post traumatic stress disorder
marijuana use disorder https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/marijuana/marijuana-addictive
like i said im probably forgetting something
(my other comment is being moderated i added a link)
i forgot pseudohallucinations and hallucinations. see told you id forget something and im still not sure thats everything
i forgot paranoia too. lol. ill remember them all some day (which actually after some research at least 2 if not more of these disorders mess with my memory (dissociation and BPD) so my short term memory is basically non existent, ok i remember some things but compared to what i forget it really feels like i remember nothing. sometimes ill even play games where ill physically feel myself forgetting the memory and i have no way to pull it back. at least i havent found one.)
Avoidant Personality Disorder/Extreme social anxiety
Chronic depression
Narcissism
Plus other more messed up stuff
I thought I had APD for a while, I can also be somewhat narcissistic as a result of the Schizoid diagnosis. I remember some of your posts, I think you and I are somewhat alike.
Schizophrenia
ADHD (inattentive)
Dyslexia
Oh yeah. I forgot I also have a case of Dyscalculia that manifested in puberty.
Chronic recurrent major depressive disorder
PTSD
Generalized anxiety disorder
Borderline personality disorder
Never been diagnosed. But I dont think it’s necessary. Not a fan of strangers trying to tell me who I am
Sensible precaution, but these are diagnoses I’ve come to through my own observation, psychiatric tests and and tests I’ve taken online… So while I was never “officially” diagnosed…
The first diagnosis I had was Major Depressive Disorder.
That has changed so many times that it isn’t even funny.
I don’t have a firm diagnosis.
For awhile it was bipolar.
They considered hypersexuality and hysteria in hospitals.
I think the most recent list was:
PTSD
Borderline Personality Disorder
Schizoaffective Disorder
Dissociative Identity Disorder
What is hysteria?
hysteria is often used to describe emotionally charged behavior that seems excessive and out of control.
I’m not sure if it’s the same thing and I can’t find anything that says “hysteria and hysterical is the same thing” but if it is a good example would be how lately instead of getting irrationally pissed off and throwing something I’ve been laughing at crying even though I’m angry at it and I can’t really control that. (same for the anger I would physically feel the need to throw it and if I didn’t my arm would just hurt more and more)
Laughing and crying* (I hate autocorrect)
The doctor was an older guy, and hysteria is actually a fairly outdated term. I considered it to be moderately offensive when it was being considered. It was usually typically attributed to women. It was originally used to label women with incomplete or inactive sex lives. “Wandering wombs” type of sexist ideology.
What is the hardest part for you guys?
For me it’s the conflicting nature of what I feel and believe.
Schizoid PD overt and covert symptoms include:
”
idiosyncratic moral and political beliefs
tendency towards spiritual, mystical and para-psychological interests
moral unevenness
occasionally strikingly amoral and vulnerable to odd crimes, at other times altruistically self sacrificing”
So yeah, I wondered if I had Borderline for a while because of that
Behind your disorder and diseases, I feel like there is some normality hidden behind how you seem to present yourself. People don’t present their disorders unless they want people to know, and in a sense that is an outcry, and an overall sense of hope. So even though you listen all the reasons why you’re damaged, your “sentiment” is still valued, because there is some part of you that still cared to reach our and compare in spite of what you’ve been diagnosed with.
There is more than enough hope for you in that content. I tend to read between the lines. Stick around long enough and I assure you these people will allow you to feel something you hadn’t before.. even if it’s just a topic to disagree on.
Hope nothing but the best for you. Because I believe the best possible version of you is out there reaching out.
Boy, bad timing huh? Sure is funny how life works out like that, but maybe you’re right. Can’t say I wish I had read this earlier though, I actually wish I could take ether so I could just say what I want all the time. Deuces!
I mean realistically the hardest part is talking to myself without realizing it but let’s be honest no one is paying enough attention to actually retain anything I say lol I wonder if this is a dream. It’s so fuckin weird, you know? NO ONE remembering anything you say, in real life or otherwise? That just doesn’t make sense to me. It doesn’t add up. I mean memory is a fucked up thing but people be walking around like y’all asleep or sumthin, cause sumthin ain’t right. Maybe it’s words that fail us, you know? I know clevername talked about that a lot. Fuck it, I may as well just say whatever I want ALL the time, I can say in a matter of fact manner that it’s not like anyone cares or will even remember lol. I notice the way some of the crazies on this site talk, and I get it, you’re invalidated, but I’m not in any rush to surrender my marbles just yet. Man, apart from having whole conversations with others in your head, you guys ever actually simulate scenarios in which you would be able to deliver a specific thing, that is say a specific thing you’ve been meaning to say, that you know you’ll probably never be able to say, in order to sort of… Substitute for the social experiences you don’t have, you know, learn things about other people? Does that make sense? Probably, if you get EXACTLY what I’m talking about, but fuck knows– If I’m a solipsist, then that’s ALL this is– I’ve had some pretty intricate psychotic dreams that I thought were real until I woke up due to my developing a thought disorder, which all comes back to my dementia or whatever the fuck this is, but I know you don’t care about that… not being SPITEFUL, I’ve just.. NOTICED. Fucking dumbfucks, all of you… What else was I saying? Oh yeah, as for the solipsism thing– But then again, I think therefore I am, so… And as a pragmatist, it’s self proclaimed in the title, I can’t really accept that none of this is real. Are they really people out there who don’t believe they’re real? Adderall is great.
Why do people only operate in feelings? What’s so great about “feelings”? And it seems most people’s feelings are shallow and not integrated with their intellect anyway, so what’s the point? Not class acts like you boys here, though.
I wanna go on about Steve Buscemi (He’s my hero) but I don’t quite know how to find the words. You guys hear about how he volunteered on 9/11 and spent over 10 hours pulling survivors from the wreckage? I’m running out of steam here, so fuck it. Man, this place sure is dreary.
Wheeeee!
I think you’re trying to create a bridge from you and the “fucked” up on this site already, making yourself seem more fucked up than the already damaged people here. But the people here, even inspite of their OWN fucked up past, are still attempting to reach out to you. I think you can come up with whatever complex disorder you you can muster up, but I don’t think it makes you any different than those who come here to express themselves.
As judge Judy would say” SHUSH, I don’t want to hear what you THINK”.
You have thoughts about us just as much as you do yourself, but I think maybe you’re twisting the concept in your mind about both, but that’s just me.
I don’t mean to call you, but that’s just what I think.
I feel like you’re masking a basic behavior that MANY people here feel with intricate detail, and slight confessions.
Personally, I think you’re just as equal as the rest of us. Damaged as the rest of us.
Don’t look down on people here because you’re more or less damaged than those who tend to speak our more than others.
I think you have a place here in this community. I think you articulate your thoughts well, and could be a great listener and helper. Maybe if you invested just a little bit of your time helping someone else feel “okay” about themselves you might just feel a little better yourself.
But who am I to suggest such a thought. What do I know, right?
Again, I hoope HOPE finds you. It’s never too late. Know matter your thought process. Too far gone is never too far gone.
Hell, maybe you’re right. I imagine Hat McCoy and Ted Kaczynski are up there chilling in heaven, sharing a blunt. Right on, man.
@rationlist
I’m pretty sure they are. And old school leaf blunt spliced with (southern) herbs, and peyote. Probably better than anything we would ever have.
@rationlist
I’m pretty sure they are. And old school tobacco leaf blunt spliced with (the devils herbs}, and peyote. Probably better than anything we would ever have these days.