Why?

I hate this. I hate it so, so much. Why can’t I accept that I need help? Why am I acting so cold and emotionless when all I want to do is to be myself? I don’t understand this. I don’t understand me! Why can’t I become a perfect daughter/girl for my parents and my relatives? Why am I being like this? Why can’t I move on from my crush on him? This sucks. Everything does.