Because I haven’t gone through all my options yet, if there’s a chance I can conquer this illness (brain tumour and anhedonia) then I’d rather live than die. Death, for me, is when I’ve run out of options and nothing else can be done.
Thanks to this illness. It’s made me realise how little I appreciated all that I had. The ability to feel is priceless, imagine that being removed from you. The only time being emotionally numb would help, is to push you further into ending your own existence. But if you’re wanting to be numb as a way to escape, it’ll only be temporary until you’re clawing away at yourself wishing for everything to come back.
I’m living primarily for my elderly mother and to do something things I’ve been wanting to do for some time.
The main reason I want to end my life is that it didn’t go as hoped. I’m living well below my true potential and that’s held me back from living my life fully.
However I have a plan on fixing that and I believe I will succeed. If it doesn’t work then I’ll end it.
Also I hate the rat race, I’m not keen on being a wage slave for another 20 yrs or so. If I’m making good money it’ll be worth going on (maybe) but if not then there’s no point to continue.
Working only to survive and not having enough money or the time to travel or purchase things your heart desires is just not worth it.
The smart thing to do is not to play that losing game at all-which gives you nothing but frustration, envy, depression, stress, etc. It’s better and easier to just walk away from the table.
In short once my mother passes away, I might give it a year or two more and if by that time I’m still not doing too great financially, then I’ll blow the last of my savings on some fun, maybe take a trip and then ‘check out.’
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Good question
Because I haven’t gone through all my options yet, if there’s a chance I can conquer this illness (brain tumour and anhedonia) then I’d rather live than die. Death, for me, is when I’ve run out of options and nothing else can be done.
Thanks to this illness. It’s made me realise how little I appreciated all that I had. The ability to feel is priceless, imagine that being removed from you. The only time being emotionally numb would help, is to push you further into ending your own existence. But if you’re wanting to be numb as a way to escape, it’ll only be temporary until you’re clawing away at yourself wishing for everything to come back.
Also fucking Hell. This OCD is a pain in the arse. Does anyone else have it?
Even posting that comment above makes me feel fucked up. No emotions for 8 months and counting. I’m surprised I haven’t gone completely insane.
Because I’m gonna die anyways. I might as well fight for my life as much as possible
I’m living primarily for my elderly mother and to do something things I’ve been wanting to do for some time.
The main reason I want to end my life is that it didn’t go as hoped. I’m living well below my true potential and that’s held me back from living my life fully.
However I have a plan on fixing that and I believe I will succeed. If it doesn’t work then I’ll end it.
Also I hate the rat race, I’m not keen on being a wage slave for another 20 yrs or so. If I’m making good money it’ll be worth going on (maybe) but if not then there’s no point to continue.
Working only to survive and not having enough money or the time to travel or purchase things your heart desires is just not worth it.
The smart thing to do is not to play that losing game at all-which gives you nothing but frustration, envy, depression, stress, etc. It’s better and easier to just walk away from the table.
In short once my mother passes away, I might give it a year or two more and if by that time I’m still not doing too great financially, then I’ll blow the last of my savings on some fun, maybe take a trip and then ‘check out.’
My cats won’t clean their own litterboxes, and if I die, they’ll eat me, so there’s my incentive.
I find happiness occasionally.
because i dont want my mom to have to deal with yet another funeral