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I Can Feel It Again

by J Doe

It’s come again. It’s winter. I have depression year round, but I can’t help but feel a bit more frigid during the winter. It is the season where things die. I should be working on my group project right now. I’m thinking about quitting it. It’s an extracurricular thing. I’ve been useless throughout the entire process. I’ve contributed next to nothing. I just show up to the meetings and say that I’ll try and do this and that, and I never do anything worth while. I should quit, but it will be another thing I started and stopped again. Just another one of my many failures. Why can’t I be something good. Why can’t I be useful. I’ll never amount to anything. There is a meeting tomorrow and I’ll have to say again “I didn’t get anything done this week.” I should just die already. I’m not good enough. I think I want an easy life. The thing is, life isn’t easy. So what I want doesn’t exist. I’m ashamed that I want an easy life. I’m ashamed that I should be better. I will never be anything. What am I?

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Virus.Found 11/2/2020 - 6:22 pm

I love winter actually. I always get the summertime sadness. Laying on the floor, melting away.. I think you shouldn’t start something, that you’re not sure of finishing, otherwise you’ll be disappointed all over again. It’s not your fault for feeling this way. Trust me, everyone wants an easy life. But as you said, it doesn’t exist. Unless you’re maybe a celebrity on Tiktok or some sh@t.

You’re a person, that’s doubting themselves. But I don’t know you, so you might be way more than that. I’m certain that you are.! (:

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