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I hope you read this

by Abandoned

I think….. Idk…. I thought about everything I wanted to say and now I’m just skipping to the end where I miss you. But I just can’t this time. I hate myself. I hate everything about me. I’m so fucking annoying I’m surprised you don’t want me dead so I’ll shut up. I’m fucking worthless. I just cant…. And I’m right, im just going to keep fucking shit up. Idk… Maybe you do hate me, I never gave you a chance to answer…. Maybe you just looked at it and rolled your eyes “stupid her again”. I’m sorry for being worthless. I’m sorry for being annoy. I’m sorry for all my fuck ups. I’ll leave you alone now………

Bye…………

10 comments
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10 comments

J Doe 11/14/2020 - 2:56 am

I’m sorry you feel this way about yourself. I think I remember you posting about a friend who’s really close to you. If you’re talking about that person, maybe he still cares about you. Try not to lose hope.

Abandoned 11/14/2020 - 3:30 am

Lol…… Yeah that would be the person. He said he’d never hate me so he probably doesn’t but it’s hard to believe he can never hate me when it feels like every day I give him reasons to. A person can only listen to so much bs before they say fuck it.

postalservice 11/14/2020 - 5:02 am

I’m sorry –

Abandoned 11/14/2020 - 6:45 am

?? (honestly confused please explain)

thuri 11/14/2020 - 9:43 am

Are they from SP?

Abandoned 11/14/2020 - 9:53 am

No, but they know I’m here and I gave them permission to check on me. Not that it matters it’s a public place and anyone can read it unless I hide it so it’s not like I can hide it from him if I don’t lol.

thuri 11/15/2020 - 12:15 pm

Yeah. Wouldn’t surprise me if they were checking in either, but dunno. I don’t understand people that well.

Abandoned 11/15/2020 - 12:51 pm

Actually it’s funny, he and I got into a little “argument” over it. He has basically all of my trust and I sent him a post one day. Where he looked at what I didn’t show him. At first I freaked because he broke my trust. But once I though about it….. He looked away from what I had showed him because he was scared/concerned/worried,and he felt these things about it because he loved me. So thinking about id be upset because he loves me….. Well that doesn’t make sense. So what I did so he doesn’t feel bad about checking on me and I can’t get pissed off because he loves me basically, I gave him permission to check and read whatever whenever. It made sense, I mean I show him 80% of what I do anyway

thuri 11/15/2020 - 1:36 pm

That’s kind of cool you have someone like that around

Abandoned 11/15/2020 - 12:56 pm

Oh and for anyone curious I “failed” like every other damn time. Of course I got drunk/high of my ass last night and had a good time laughing and talking lol

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