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i want ‘you’ to hurt me

by Abandoned

i want someone to hurt me. i want them to use me. i want them to make me hate myself. it could have been worse. i dont deserve the pain im in. its almost like i see it like a trophy. (not like a trophy but its the best analogy i can think of) i just feel like i wasnt hurt enough to be in the amount of “pain” im in. im overreacting. i just want to deserve my pain.

theres one person…..idk. theyve already hurt me….but im haunted by it every day. it could have been worse. it all could have been so much worse. i just want to hurt……..i kind of hate to say it but some times i wish they would come back into my life just to hurt me….and some times i think about personally bringing them back into my life.

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