No idea what the fuck I’m doing with my life. My entire life has imploded and welp maybe it is for the best. Maybe finally starting the 4th quarter of my life single is best.
Maybe just not being raped and abused is best. But FFS does change have to be so hard? I go back and forth between hope and hopelessness. Hate and sorrow. Nothing to show for almost two decades. Nothing but a few trinkets and well…
Thought of just putting a gun in my mouth again. I fantasize about that way too much. It never gets better, just gets different. I stuff it deep. I am insanely private in my life and rape, incest, drug abuse, mental illness, and just utter bullshit that has created the person I am today sometimes makes me want to just hit the hard restart button.
I don’t understand people. People are cruel, selfish, and I walk through my day baffled by just myself sometimes.
Well if you got this far..have a song. Kind of played out, but so am I.