there is a song that i would listen to back when i was still being abused in august. it’s your dog by Soccer Mommy. most of the time i’d just sit on the floor and sob while it played on repeat in the background. i still listen to it, it’s a great song and i love it, it’s just really difficult to listen to because of the content of the song itself and the time period i associate it with.
here are the lyrics:
I don’t wanna be your fucking dog
That you drag around
A collar on my neck tied to a pole
Leave me in the freezing cold
I don’t wanna be your little pet
At the edge of every bed
You sleep in, body stretching out
Guess I’ll curl up on the couch
Always talk to other people
Dart my eyes across the room
Forehead kisses break my knees
And leave me crawling back to you
‘Cause I don’t wanna be your fucking dog
That you drag around
A collar on my neck tied to a pole
Leave me in the freezing cold
Always talk to other people
Dart my eyes across the room
Forehead kisses break my knees
And leave me crawling back to you
‘Cause I don’t wanna be your baby girl
That you show off to the world
When you decide you wanna feel
Like you’re living something real
I’m not a prop for you to use
When you’re lonely or confused
I want a love that lets me breathe
I’ve been choking on your leash
i wake up every single day that i am property
this body isn’t mine, his name is carved in it.
even now
i still remain his property
2 comments
The lyrics remind me of “Voices Carry” by Til Tuesday. (An old old tune from way back.) A gentler version of a similar premise of control and domination. There is great value in the progress you’ve made in not allowing his control to continue. You’ve made great strides, and with each passing day will continue to do so. The memories will persist, but so too will the positive lessons learned as a result of them. You’re on a much better path now.
thank you. your words are comforting.