Full circle

What is life fr, Obviously it’s not mine. You literally have to live for other people. It’s like you know that nobody can help you. Your just tired of being here, nobody can understand the emotions or lack of, that you go through. In pass years I never cared about who I would hurt with me killing myself. But today after having a really bad morning I was enraged and cut myself really bad and I thought, I’ve already started might as well go for the kill, but I thought, what would happen to my dog, will she lay there with me and die from neglect, would she some how alert someone. I couldnt do this to her she’s not even a year old. Should I take her somewhere. I felt so bad I wrapped my arm up took some pain meds and took a nap. Woke up wishing I never did.