Family

I’m not sure I really want to be in contact with them, the police asked me for their details (names) so I gave them the names. That was in relation to my dad’s death.

But I’m tired of people, and I just got off the phone with a relative. I’m sure she’s laughing at how much of a failure I am to herself.

I have no reason to contact my family, really. For what? To talk about dad’s death? Well I don’t need to tell them that. It seemed they knew that he had a drinking problem though.

I just want to be left alone 🙁

But I don’t want to be mean and shut my family out…
Why did dad have to die? Why wasn’t it me instead? He got his peace.

Then again I have my mum and I shouldn’t really be wanting to die… but… I don’t know. Again I’m just spending more time with her lately..
I should be.
Why wouldn’t I be?
Life is short, my dad’s death showed that (even if cirrhosis is a death sentence when you don’t stop drinking…).

This post is a mess