I could go into it but the general topic of hating myself is a lot.
What triggered this though is a pain in the ass.
“pay constant attention to me or else I’m going to think you hate me” it’s not my fault. I don’t exactly choose to feel hated and I’m fairly confident im not hated. But i still feel hated and disorders still and always have and always will suck.
I was looking into maid…… I should qualify….. The pull of “i don’t want this to be over but i can’t live like this either” fucking sucks……
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i hate myself but love everyone else. i wish i could find self love but i havent been able to. more proof for my growing fear that love itself is not real, just another trap to twist and harm.
If you love others then isnt that proof that love does exist?
Although i wont disagree its becoming harder and harder to come by as people get more and more lost within themselves.